Visitations and Divorce
Things have certainly changed over the years and mother?s no longer end up with custody of their children with the father getting visitations. Most courts now want both parents to be equally involved in the parenting so joint custody takes place. One parent may end up with slightly more time than they other but children do get to benefit from both parents being very involved in their lives.
This type of visitation arrangement can end up being quite difficult though. It will take some time for everyone to get used to it. Having a calendar just for that purpose can be very helpful. You can color code the days when the kids will be with each parent so that there is no confusion about it for all involved. Even young children can learn to see the different colors on the calendar and know what their day will have in store for them.
It is best if the parents are able to come up with a reasonable visitation schedule that works well for them. This way the children can benefit from it. With the schedules some adults have it isn?t possible for them to care for children in the mornings five days a week. All of that needs to be taken into account.
When parents can?t agree on a good visitation schedule though the courts will have to get involved. This often includes parenting time for a regular calendar as well as how holidays will be taken care of. Generally the children with switch holidays each year with each parent to make it as fair as possible. The exceptions are often Mother?s Day and Father?s Day which they will spend with the parent that fits that category.
Where many children end up suffering with such visitations though is due to the parents strictly following it. Children find that being with their friends is a very important part of their life. When they are missing out on social gatherings due to having to go with the other parent it can become tiresome and frustrating for them.
There are also events that will take place and children have to miss them due to going with the other parent. It can be weddings, reunions, birthdays, or vacations with one side of the family. It just isn?t possible to schedule all of these events around the visitation schedules of those family members who have gotten divorced.
It is the wise parent who is willing to give up some of their parenting time for the benefit of their children. They are willing to let them stay with the other parent a day here or there so they can attend such events. This needs to be a two sided street though with both parents being willing to bend a little. Such flexibility when it comes to the visitation schedules can take some of the horror out of a divorce for the children involved.
There are too many parents though that are very strict as to the visitation schedule that is set up. If they are to get their children at 6 pm on Friday night that is what they are going to do. They don?t take into consideration the feelings of the children when they do this. It can make children feel hurt as well as resentful though so you need to make sure you realize how such behaviors affect them.
Of course you do have to make sure you don?t get taken advantage of. If the other parent seems to have too many things planned on a regular basis that fit into your visitation time you need to discuss it with them. The children also need to realize that you can?t always change your visitations with them to allow them to attend other events. If you are very reasonable with the process though it should be able to work out for everyone involved.
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